In 2018 I joined Slimming World because I was fed up of feeling low about myself and eating my feelings. I did intend to write about my weight loss journey, SW and my new found self confidence but with every great life journey, it soon had it’s downsides too.
I lost around 1.5 stone in the end and I felt good about myself again, bought a bunch of new clothes out of my comfort zone and gained back some much needed confidence after my ex-husband told me I was fat and left me (not linked but still). I just really needed to do it for me. Shedding the fat felt like I was shedding my old skin and it really helped me focus on something in the immediate months after the break-up.
I’ve since put probably half a stone back on and realised that SW probably isn’t the best way to live my life by, it helped me shift some pounds but it wasn’t a way of life. What it did teach me however is that the saying is true, losing weight doesn’t really make you happy, your insecurities are still there, just hiding unless less layers of fat.
I’ve spent a lot of my life struggling with my weight, I put on a lot, lose a lot, rinse and repeat. I’m a yoyo. However I’ve gotten to an age in life where I’ve started to realise there is 100% more to life than what I look like or weigh. I’m sick of stepping on the scale feeling good about the way I look and come away devastated that the number had risen again and punish myself.
This year, I’ve decided I’m going to focus on a few things instead of constantly hating myself.
Investing in clothes that fit, look good and not wasting money on throw away fashion.
This. I’ve spent too many years of my life attempting to keep up with trends and styles that just don’t suit me or make me feel like a sack of potatoes. Instead of forcing myself into another pair of £10 primark jeans that turns my potato vibe into a stuffed sausage vibe, instead I’m going to spend my time and money searching for clothes that’ll last, feel and look good. I’d rather have a wardrobe full of clothes that I know will make me feel good than a pile of wasted money.
I’m also going to treat myself to some great sets of underwear. I really feel like this could make the difference from just feeling alright and change that to feeling sexy. A thing I’ve never really felt but wouldn’t complain about feeling, yano?
Stop weighing myself so often.
This for me, was force of habit. I had scales in the bathroom, so every time I was in there I’d pop on them and see what it said. NO. Not anymore. This seriously fucked up my mental health and I’ve had enough of not feeling like enough. I no longer have scales in my bathroom and I’ve decided I’m only going to weigh myself once a month at my boyfriends house. This is more to just keep tabs on myself and make sure I’m not putting or losing drastic amounts of weight for health reasons.
Follow more body positive accounts.
This is something I’ve been doing a lot more of recently and I think it really helps to see more representation and women that look similar to you in shape. It definitely makes me feel good seeing these accounts on my insta and I’m actively making more effort to unfollow anything that makes me feel inadequate or not enough.
Focusing on living my life.
I spent a lot of effort losing weight and that was fine, but it did make me that annoying person in a restaurant or bar that can’t eat certain things. Once I stopped caring about how many syns I was eating and just enjoying life again, yeah I put on weight, but I was much happier with my life.
2019 I’m gonna focus on just enjoying life, eating at new brunch places, making plans and having an ice cream at the beach. Life is so much more than fitting into a size 10.
Taking more photos of myself.
I never really take photos of myself, which is ridiculous seeing as I take about 309483 photo’s a day of everything and everyone else. This year I’m really going to try and take more photos of myself so I can learn to love all those little things that make me, me. 2019 is the year I get familiar with myself.
What ways are you planning on being body positive this year?
I’d love to know the little or big changes you’ve made to help be more body positive? I know it’s a long process and we’ll all have those days where we slide all the way back to the beginning but just know that you’re not alone. xox
If you enjoyed this post you may also enjoy Lesson 1 Of Heartbreak: Self Worth.