As I sit down to write this post, I’ve got 4 days off work before I start a brand spanking new job, it’s about as perfect timing as it could be to catch you up with what’s been going on with my life lately.
I’m currently sat on my sofa in a huge oversized polka dot dress, wrapped in a blanket, covered in watsit crumbs as I catch up with Gotham on Netflix. Getting to the point where I can relax enough to write this post has been a struggle I cannot put into words over the last year, which is still ongoing, but less so.
As some of you know, Nick and I got married almost a year ago, yep, time really does go that quickly! I was diagnosed with anxiety and signed off work with stress. It was pretty intense about this time last year and unfortunately that freshly married bliss didn’t last long. Nick got made redundant from work a month later which meant that for the first Christmas ever, we had a pretty sad and miserable one.
After a couple of months of job searching, Nick got an exciting new job in Warwick, which meant that Nick and I were doing long distance for a couple of months. It’s pretty hard being away from your husband for weeks at a time literally a month or two after getting married. A couple of months later I managed to bag myself a job in Warwick too, which meant we really were moving to Warwick. This certainly wasn’t our plan when we bought our house in Sheffield almost two years ago. But if I’m being brutally honest, I was happy to be moving and starting a fresh chapter somewhere else, I wasn’t happy in our house anymore and I was glad to see the back of it.
Over the past 6 months, we’ve had some pretty dark lows, being an adult in an adult world is exhausting. We were skint for the year or two before the wedding, buying a house and getting married will do that to you. So moving to a new city with a new place means paying two sets of rent, well as you can imagine, this has well and truly broken us over the last 6 months. It feels like things have been never ending but we managed to finally get our house rented out in August which was a huge relief.
However, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel approaching. Yesterday was the last day at my old job, without saying too much, I’m happy to be out of there. I’m so happy to start a job I’m excited about, a feeling I haven’t had for a very very long time and it’s refreshing, so so refreshing to not feel dread and sadness when thinking about going to work.
I’m hoping this new chapter really is the start of a better year ahead for us. I’d love nothing more than to be able to book our honeymoon soon, we really could do with spending some time on our own away from worries and stress for a couple of weeks. As for now I’d quite happily take being able to afford a take away without feeling guilty, y’ano? They always say that the first year of marriage is the hardest and it certainly feels like we’ve had our fair share of shit but if we’ve made it through this still intact, then I’m pretty sure we can make it through anything.
I’m sorry if this post was a little deeper than you probably thought it would be. It’s been one of the hardest years of my life, especially struggling with mental health problems on top of everything else. But if anything it’s shown me that I can work through it and I can come out the other side a stronger person.