5 Things You Don’t Need At Your Wedding.

It’s been 10 months since we got married, which by the way seems to have just flown by! But whilst we were on our holiday visiting family recently, we were gifted a video filmed by family of the wedding and it had us both reminiscing about it all again. There was certainly little things we would do differently but there were things we were still very happy we didn’t have at the wedding too. I wanted to share the 5 things we don’t think you need at your wedding.

5 Things You Don't Need At Your Wedding Sweet Allure
It may have been 2016 when we got married, but there were still a lot of societal pressures we felt when it came to actually planning the wedding. However we found that when it comes to a wedding, your happiness is so important and we didn’t really miss some of them anyway…

01.  Sit Down Meal.
There is a lot of pressure to have a sit down meal rather than the buffet option. I felt the pressure to have a sit down meal as it’s seen as more ‘classy’ than a stand up meal situation. We went for the buffet option as it was cheaper but you know what? The food was unbelievably good, so good we still get people talking about it and the venue had seats and places to sit anyway, so who really cares?

02. Speeches.
I guess sit down meals go hand in hand with speeches, which is one of the reason we were against a sit down meal too… but as Nick and I are both introverted people, the thought of forcing people to make speeches or make them ourselves made us cringe. We found that the night flowed pretty well and picking a time to ‘break up’ the vibe didn’t feel right anyway, so we were happy we didn’t conform to the norm on that one.

03. A Cake.
Do you have any idea how expensive wedding cakes are? Because let me tell you, they’re expensive as fuck. We were looking at a ‘budget’ one from M&S and it was £200+ at least. Nick was really adamant on having a cake to begin with but no-one really cares about the ‘cutting the cake’ photo at the end of the day. So we decided to spend the £200 on a mini-moon away for 3 days after instead… money much better spent. Also, people struggled to eat the dessert after the meal anyway…so a cake would have been wasted.

04. First Dances.
I.am.not.a.dancer. There was a plan for a first dance at some point however it just never quite happened. The playlist we had was played during the meal and the song we had planned as our first dance got lost among the shuffle but instead, we decided to have our dance as the last song of the night instead.

05. Beauty Treatments.
I know every bride (and groom) wants to feel great on their wedding day. There is SO much pressure to be the perfect princess on your day and with that comes the pressure of waxing, prepping, cutting, trimming, tanning and god knows what else. I found this part really hard to deal with. I’m not the most girly of girls and I just wanted to do what felt right for me. I had my nails painted and a make-up artist but I didn’t lose weight, have a spray tan, dye my hair, wax my entire body from head to toe or wear saucy underwear and I’m totally okay with that. Don’t give into anyone’s else beauty standards and do what makes you feel great, not what people expect you to do.

Weddings are meant to represent you as a couple and you should never give into the pressures of others when it comes to your big day. It’s hard to say no to people but at the end of the day, it’s your day, not theirs.

If you’ve enjoyed reading this wedding post, you might enjoy 10 Thoughts I’ve Had Since Getting Married or My Wedding Day Details.

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  • Gemma

    I agree with you here lovely! Your wedding day is your day, doesn’t matter what anyone thinks or says, as long as you guys are happy. I much prefer a buffet because you can have whatever you want, rather than trying to figure out what people like and dislike. It’s going to be harder to find those things that EVERYONE likes. And as romantic as a first dance is, I don’t see myself having one, I hate dancing and being the centre of attention!!

    Gemma | http://www.anoceanglimmer.wordpress.com

  • We are so lucky that a family friend is doing our wedding cake for us for £90! I couldn’t justify spending £200 on a cake, even £90 seems steep…well, it did until I read this post! Haha. We are also not having a first dance as neither of us are dancers and just hate the idea. And although I’m having my make-up and hair and nails done for the wedding, I won’t be going for wax/tan/saucy underwear etc! Cannot be bothered. Haha. So we seem quite alike in our views on weddings 😀 x http://www.aimeeraindropwrites.co.uk x

  • Thank you for this post, Tarnya! I’m planning a wedding for a year from tomorrow, and the stress is unreal! I love your idea of a mini-moon instead of a wedding cake. I think my partner and I would both prefer a trip to an expensive cake. And I totally agree on buffet style vs served style! I’ve been to both kinds of weddings, and I didn’t think buffet style deterred from the “classiness” of the event at all. In fact, I quite liked it because I was able to choose what I wanted to eat and not be served something that would be wasted on me. Thanks for sharing your 5 Don’t-Necessarily-Needs. 🙂 You’ve given me a lot to think about (in a good way)! xx

    • tarnya

      Awww Kaiya i’m really glad you enjoyed this post! Everyone talks about ‘enjoying’ wedding planning but it is ultimately really stressful. Just try and remember to have some fun with it and stick to what you want, rather than what other people want you to have! xxxx

  • I’m already married but I absolutely loved reading this ! It can be so easy to feel pressured to conform to the ‘norms’ of wedding – I’m so glad that you stuck to what you wanted to do! This post is a definite for bride to be’s!


    • tarnya

      Thank you! There are so many pressures, we need to just try and remember to do what we want rather than what we THINK we need xxx

  • Good tips here! We’ve got all of the above: sit down meal, speeches, cake, etc. but still trying to save. I’ve gone with the risky decision of not having favours. Do I really have to thank my guests for being there with a gift, when I’ve already paid for their food, alcohol and entertainment for the day? No!

    • tarnya

      We didn’t do favours really, but we did have a little pick n mix sweetie bar thing so people could help themselves if they wanted to take anything ^_^ (and we got to eat the leftovers, tehe!) xx