This is probably the most personal post I’ll ever write on my blog but every time mothers day comes around I can’t help but feel all of these emotions brimming beneath the surface and it’s about time I spoke about it.
When I was 16 years old, my mother left home.
I’m not going to go into details about it, because this isn’t the time or place, but it’s been very hard for me without a strong female role model in my life. This is not to say that the women I have in my life haven’t been incredible. I have an incredible grandmother who raised 9 kids and worked endless jobs to support them all. I have aunties who have worked hard to raise kids and run businesses. I have best friends who have been with me through literally everything and I can tell them anything without judgement or worry. I have friends mothers (Caroline this is a shout out to you) who took me under their wings, fed me, offered support and wisdom and generally just being there for me when I needed a mothers support. I have a mother-in-law who looks after me in whatever way she can, gives me advice, takes me on shopping trips and is generally all round amazing.
But there are so many things I miss out on from not having a mother figure around. I hate to admit it but I get pretty envious of girls who have their best friend as their mum.
I miss out on calling someone up to have a chat about nonsense or going to the local coffee shop for a coffee or tea. I was never really taught how to use make-up which is probably why I’m pretty useless at it still at the age of 27. I never have those girly shopping trips together and figure out what looks best on my body shape or had those chats about boys and sex growing up. I don’t get to hear about a mothers day at work, her thoughts, her dreams, her struggles through life. I don’t get to hear any of these things and as I’ve grown older and more into a woman, I realise I’ve had to be that little bit tougher and stronger to get through it all by myself. I realise that whenever I come across a woman in my life, they like to mother me, like they can instinctively tell that I’m this lost little broken girl who just needs looking after.
And it’s hard.
I think ultimately this is the main driving point as to why I want my own children one day. I want to have that mother and child relationship, even if the only way I can have it is by being a mother.
So I guess my message behind this post, is to appreciate what you have. Tell her she is beautiful, be thankful for everything she does for you and visit her whenever you can. Ask her about her hopes and dreams and tales growing up. Treat her to some flowers or chocolates or a bottle of wine (or two!). Take her out to dinner and go on adventures with her.
Tell her you love her, whenever you can.
Because some of us may never get the chance to do so ever again.